How do I know it is really my bank calling
In shortYou cannot, and that is the point. What has to be decided is the procedure, not the caller.
Caller ID is spoofed, and it is spoofed onto the official number specifically. Knowing your details proves nothing: leaks happen constantly, and the last digits of your card, your address and your last order number are available to the caller.
So the question «is this really the bank» has no answer that can be checked during the call. A checkable answer appears after you hang up and call back yourself.